‘Everyone needs a mentor’: BBBSKY Bigs share what mentorship means to them
Since 1967, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Kentuckiana has provided comprehensive mentoring services to youth and young adults, ages 7-25, through a variety of programs in 10 counties: 7 in Kentucky and 3 in southern Indiana.
Throughout the years, we’ve had thousands of mentors (Bigs) and youth mentees (Littles) experience the incredible impact of mentorship firsthand. Here’s what four of our exceptional former Bigs had to say about their time with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Kentuckiana.
Dr. Joe Bargione
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As a psychologist I know the short and long term impact a positive, meaningful relationship between a Big and Little can have on the child. Having been a Big for 5 Littles over 30 years I've been fortunate to see each of the Littles grow and thrive.
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I try to be more compassionate and caring towards those around me and look for the good in each person I interact with in life.
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I have two. First, I was invited to attend the wedding of my first Little. He is now married, has a job, and a family of his own. Second, another Little went to college and graduate school and actually became a Big himself!
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Being a Big to a young person keeps me grounded and helps me appreciate what each Little brings to our relationship (both his strengths and challenges).
Trish Joseph
For as long as I can remember, I've had a heart for children and a desire to help them.
As I became an adult, got married and had children of my own, that certainly fulfilled a calling in my life, but I still felt a pull to do more to help beyond my own home. I believed I could use my life experiences to benefit kids who needed encouragement and support during the most formative years of their life.
I didn't know exactly what that would look like for me but I knew I had to start somewhere.
I turned to Big Brothers Big Sisters to see if there were opportunities where I could try it out and I discovered the mentoring program. After applying and learning about the program, I was excited to be matched with my little sister, Haley, who was 12 years old at the time we met in 2020.
Haley was the perfect match for me. We have so many common interests in hobbies, food, music and sense of humor. She was like an open book from day one. She is so easy to talk to and personable, we were able to establish a relationship easily and from there trust grew.
It's now been three years! She is a teenager and we still get along better than ever. She has taught me more about courage and the strength of the human spirit than I ever expected.
In her young 15 years I've seen her tackle obstacles and pressures most adults my age would not be able to endure. Throughout it all, she sets her mind and heart on the hope of the future and silver linings of every situation. She recognizes the lessons and opportunities for growth with every set back and that is an inspiration to me. She loves her family and she loves God and I am a better person for knowing her.
I thank Big Brothers Big Sisters for bringing us together and showing me the power of community and relationship. Their support has been instrumental.
steve nassau
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Mentorship is everything to a young man or woman that needs a positive role model in their life. We all deserve a mentor, whether that’s a family member or a Big, it’s important to have someone to look up to and learn from. My time as a Big is something I look back on and cherish. Helping shape a young man’s life is something I’m very proud of.
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Being a Big has helped me in so many ways. I was matched before I had kids of my own, so it allowed me to develop patience, empathy and the ability to lead by example. All things that have proved so valuable as a parent.
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I think just the excitement I got from hanging out with my Little. Whether it was going to play laser tag (our favorite), bowling, or to see a superhero movie, I was always so excited to hang out with him.
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How important it is just to show up. There were days I might not have had the time to spend with my Little. Times where I really needed to be at work or getting things done, but I had to remind myself that if I don’t show up, who will? This young man was counting on me to be there for him. Even if it was something I thought was meaningless like shooting basketball, this could have been the highest point of his week! The ability to “show up” is something I take very seriously as a father, and credit my time as a Big for instilling the importance of that in me.
“The ability to “show up” is something I take very seriously as a father, and credit my time as a Big for instilling the importance of that in me.”
elias oxendine IV
Why is mentorship important? How would your life had been different without mentorship?
I am a BIG fan of giving back to the community, and mentoring is one mechanism of doing so. For me, it's about the personal satisfaction and fulfillment in helping others succeed, grow and achieve their goals. There's no better feeling than that! Without a mentor and role model in my life, I don't think I would have been as successful as I am both professionally and personally. Mentorship works, and my success is a testament of that.
What is your fondest memory of being a mentor?
One of the most cherished moments for me was assisting a mentee in navigating a personal challenge at school. He was grappling with the pressure to fit in with the popular crowd, leading to heightened stress and a dent in his self-esteem. Drawing from my own experiences during middle school, where I faced a similar struggle, I empathized with his situation.
My primary objective was to help him recognize his intrinsic value without conforming to societal expectations of popularity. I encouraged him to embrace his unique qualities and strengths, emphasizing that perfection is not a prerequisite for self-worth. To initiate this shift in perspective, I prompted him to identify one personal strength.
After several discussions, he acknowledged his talent for sprinting. Taking this newfound self-awareness, he decided to join the track team. Through his achievements in track and the acknowledgment he received over the school's PA system, he organically gained popularity. What made this transformation particularly fulfilling was that it was genuine, rooted in his authentic self rather than a contrived effort.
Witnessing the sheer joy and excitement on his face as he shared how his circle of friends expanded, and he started receiving invitations to parties, remains one of my most cherished memories. This experience underscored the profound impact that mentoring can have on reshaping someone's self-esteem and fostering genuine personal growth.
What is one lesson mentorship has taught you?
Mentoring fosters empathy as mentors gain insights into the challenges and aspirations of their mentees. This understanding helps mentors tailor their guidance to meet the specific needs of individuals.